Eagles Can't Escape Nick Foles

I saw a headline tonight saying something to the effect of “Jaguars are shopping Nick Foles around the league; Wentz needs a backup.” 

No.

Don’t you start with that dead horse again Philly sports media. Weird to find myself hoping the Eagles don’t bring Nick Foles -- the man beloved by every Eagles fan for miraculously leading us our first Super Bowl -- back to Philly. I love Nick Foles. He gave me one of the best nights of my life (that sounded weirder than intended when I read it back). He is a stand up guy who deserves all the good things life has brought him. But no, I don’t think it’s a good idea to bring him back. 

Foles never did anything wrong, in fact, he did everything right. But the sad thing is, he tore the fanbase and the team apart. His heroic play left many believing he should be the true starter over Carson Wentz (even over 2017 MVP caliber Carson Wentz). Yes, Foles played out of his mind that fateful and glorious winter of 2017-18, but when all is said and done, Carson is the better quarterback. He’s the future of our team and bringing Foles back into the fold will only stir up that old rift in Eagles nation. The last thing we need is another season hearing whispers of “but we can start Foles and see how it goes” after the first “bad” game Carson has. And I say “bad” in quotes because Carson’s “bad” games are ones in which he plays at a top 15 QB level. No, I don’t want Foles back. I want Howie’s not going after Foles to be a tip of the hat to Wentz. A vote of confidence in him. A way to say, you’ve got this, it’s your turn to bring us to the promised land so we can be blessed with another Jason Kelce mummer-clad speech. I want Carson to know this is his team and we have confidence that he’s the man for the job. I want the best for Nick Foles. I couldn’t think of a bad thing to say about him even if you paid me. But I don’t want the accompanying doubt and questioning, the questioning. A world of uncertainty is not an environment in which I want Carson to have to try to focus. Leading an NFL team is hard enough without being forced to wonder if you’re even the actual leader. Give Carson a solid backup. Give him some peace of mind. Give him the support he needs in order to give us another Lombardi. Give him someone that’s basically, but not actually, Nick Foles.

Bonus thought: This whole “not wanting heroic 2017 Eagles to be on this team” is a theme I guess cause I can’t wait for Alshon to go. He was one of my favorite players and despite his superstardom, I thought he was underrated. Putting all the exceptional play and contributions to our first Super Bowl victory in the past though, we have 2020 Alshon to deal with. His head’s a little bigger, his hands a little more brick-like, and nearly everyone feels safe in assuming he’s the epicenter of the locker room drama. I’ll welcome the day I read a headline saying he’s gone and I look forward to seeing who/what we get in return.

TL;DR:
Carson: You’re the man, go win yourself (and us) a Super Bowl
Nick Foles: It’s all love, but we just can’t have you back. It’s too complicated
Alshon: Thanks for 2017 and the Super Bowl week interview you did, but good riddance.

Uber Safety Tips... From a Driver

Navigating my way through the gridded streets of Philadelphia as the bars close on a Friday night, I’m looking for the passenger I’m supposed to pick up. With the night in full swing, center city is buzzing with activity. Outside every bar, small groups of people attempt the near-impossible task of rendezvousing with their drunk friends. Every now and then, a person walks into the street without looking, or a wasted undergrad jovially pushes his buddy off the curb. Given the environment and time of night, I’m driving slowly. I’m following my GPS toward the location where someone named…. I check my screen again… Lauren, should be waiting. Approaching the pin, I pull off to the right side of the street, up to a young woman standing alone outside of the bar. Face buried in her phone, she doesn’t see me approach. When I come to a stop in front of her she looks up, steps forward, opens the door, and plops into my back seat.

At this point, I know she’s getting home safe and sound. The scary thought I constantly have while picking people up is that she couldn’t possibly know that. She’s asked no questions, did not so much as give me a glance, and I don’t think she even checked my car against the one her app told her was coming. The regularity with which people get into my car without verifying anything is distressing. I don’t feel as though I can offer any advice on how to take easy safety precautions, because saying “you really should be more careful” to a young woman who just got in the back of a car would do nothing but give her a heart attack. For the sake of their peace of mind, I take them to their destination without mentioning it and drop them off. Sadly though, these things need to be said, so I’ve taken to writing a few of my tips down. I’ve heard first-hand the horrific stories of what rideshare drivers have attempted. I’ve seen the occasional headline mentioning what drivers have done. And just tonight, Uber has released its long awaited safety report, from which I learned that 5,981 reports of sexual assault were filed in Uber related incidents in 2017 and 2018.

It turns out that 464 of those were rape, and an additional 587 were instances of attempted rape. On top of that, in those two years, cases of assault resulted in the deaths of eight riders, seven drivers, and four ‘third parties.’ While these figures seem jarring, they’re somewhat less so when framed a certain way, such as seeing that those nearly 6,000 cases were spread across 2.3 billion rides. And I can tell you from reading the report, Uber does its best to frame the hell out of it. Interesting to note, the total figure of 5,981 is not even mentioned in the 84 pages of the full report, but was tallied by adding the totals of all the subdivided categories of sexual assault. On top of that, the report is offered alongside the “executive summary” of the report, about 90% of which is explaining how many rides are completed safely and just how rare the safety incidents are. Also stressed is that the the incidents are decreasing because of safety measures already enacted by Uber. Yes, according to their statistics, the incidents have decreased from 2017-2018, and some are on track to decrease in 2019. Well done Uber, but two data points do not make a trend. Regardless, 5,981 sexual assaults is still 5,981 too many and it needs to be continually addressed by Uber. 

Before everyone demonizes Uber drivers, the most surprising tidbit of information from the report was that in 45% of the more serious sexual assault incidents, drivers were the victims. Yes, you read that right. Nearly half of all sexual assault incidents reported were reported by drivers against passengers. While I have had obscenely inappropriate and vulgar things said to me by one female passenger in my car, I can’t characterize it as harassment because a) I ignored/laughed it off, and b) as a large male, the power dynamic between me and the petite female passenger was not one where I felt vulnerable. Had the roles been reversed, comments such as those said to me would have been downright terrifying. Roughly 89% of the sexual assault incidents were perpetrated against women, so while drivers make up nearly half of the victims, I suspect that as a male driver, I don’t have too much to worry about. Side note, I have been put in an uncomfortable situation or two, from being blocked in halfway down a dark alley in Philadelphia to picking up someone late at night who messaged me saying “turn your lights off and pull slowly up the driveway.” No matter who you are, stay frosty out there, folks.

Back to the passenger Lauren: Like the vast majority of rideshare drivers would do, I took her to her destination safely and directly, where she went into her apartment, likely had some cold Bagel Bites or whatever drunk people eat when they get home from the bars, and PTFO. Unfortunately, I’ve heard stories from women about rides that weren’t that routine. Scary stories that make you sick to your stomach. While no victim can be held responsible for the actions of the person who assaulted them, the following tips are things that could so easily prevent a few of these assaults from happening in the future. Since I feel that it’s unprofessional to tell people they’re not making safe decisions after they get in my car, I’ve decided to put my thoughts in writing. After months of driving for Uber, this are the basic security measures we all should take. I use them myself. While they can’t prevent bad things from happening, can decrease their liklihood.

VERIFY WHO THE DRIVER IS

This might be the easiest thing to incorporate into your ridesharing routine. Uber and Lyft do a great job of notifying you what the color/make/model of the driver’s car is, as well as the driver’s photo, name, and license plate! Do the following three things BEFORE you get in the car. Key word: BEFORE.

1) Visually match the car in the app to the car in the street.

I would have thought this to be common sense, but I’ve had multiple occasions where someone was halfway into my back seat before I could tell them they are getting in the wrong car. When I pull up to Morgan’s Pier after last call on a Saturday night, people who may not be thinking clearly will try to get in the first Uber-ish looking car they see, not realizing said car is in a line of eight other Ubers. I’ve had to shoo people out of my car more than once.

2) Say: “Who are you picking up?” NOT: “Are you picking up **name**?” 

Never ask a driver, “Are you picking up Lauren?” Anyone behind a wheel can simply say yes and then whisk you off to a nightmare. Force the driver to say who he/she is picking up before getting in any rideshare vehicle. It’s not rude, it’s not impolite, it’s expected. The two phrases “Who are you picking up?” and “Are you picking up Lauren?” are equivalent in many ways, safety not being one of them. Practice saying it with me now: “Who are you picking up?” Great job, very good. You’re now a little safer.

 3) Check the license plate

While asking “who are you picking up” is probably good enough, if you want to be sure, or you’re still suspicious, check the plates. If you’re as OCD about security as I am, this is a foolproof way to know you’re getting in the correct vehicle. Just because a Prius pulled up when you’re waiting on a Prius doesn’t mean it’s the right car. It takes an extra 2-3 seconds to step behind the car to verify that it’s the one you ordered. I’ve been an Uber Driver for months now, and am surprised at how few people do this. I check nearly every time I get in an Uber, and I’m maybe the least likely potential sexual assault victim these Uber drivers have ever seen. 

KEEP YOUR PHONE IN YOUR HAND

This past summer, I found myself sitting on a bus next to a woman who was a student at a local university. Throughout the course of conversation on the way up to Boston, I mentioned that I had just applied to drive for Uber, and she told me a harrowing story about an experience she had had with a rideshare driver. She was only taking it less than ten minutes to a friend’s party, and luckily for her, she was both quite alert and quick witted. The story goes that she noticed that the driver had diverted from the GPS suggested path and pulled into an alley. He locked the doors and turned the car off. While panic would likely flood through anyone in this situation, she quickly dialed her friend, who thankfully answered quickly. She spoke into the phone loudly enough for the driver to hear, “Hey, I’m only three minutes away, can’t wait to see you.” It was enough. The driver turned the car back on, pulled out of the alley and dropped her off at her destination. There’s a million ways anyone could handle (or more likely, NOT handle) that situation. I might have called 911 before dialing a friend, but who’s to really say what they’d do in that situation. All I know is what she did worked and it began with keeping her phone in her hand and paying attention. 

STAY ALERT AND KEEP AN EYE ON THE ROUTE

This is self explanatory. I’m as guilty as anyone of passing car rides buried in my instagram feed, but when it comes to ridesharing, it’s not a bad idea to check on your location or track the route on the move. Ridesharing apps offer the technology to verify every turn your driver makes, so why not use it? Note: there are some valid reasons why drivers deviate from the path suggested by Uber Navigation: Because we’re using Waze (and because Uber in-app navigation is terrible), because we think a different route is faster, because sometimes we know of traffic patterns or closed roads that even Waze doesn’t, or (and I’m willing to admit this), sometimes we just miss a turn. While it’s important to keep an eye on the route, a deviation isn’t always cause for concern. Between your common sense and communication with the driver, you should be able to tell the difference. If something doesn’t sit right at all, there’s no harm in making a phone call to a friend. Doesn’t hurt to tell them, “Oh I’ll be there soon, I just got of 76 and am headed past the Art Museum.” While this sounds like normal passenger phone conversation to a driver, it may offer you some peace of mind. 

SIT BEHIND THE DRIVER

This is mostly unnecessary information in this post, but it could be worth knowing. I’m not sure where I heard this, but I once heard someone say that the safest place is the passenger side rear seat “because it’s furthest from the driver.” That logic doesn’t do it for me. I’ve done three cross country road trips with my family when I was a little kid, and I learned quickly that the driver can reach the person in passenger side rear seat the easiest. If you’re sitting behind the driver, the very most he can do is reach around below him and grab your ankle. You’re in his blind spot, both visually and physically. If I were ever nervous about a rideshare driver, that’s where I’d sit. Generally speaking, it’s always a safer policy to just get in on the curb side of the car (usually the passenger side), but it’s good to know anyway. Always crossing two seats to sit behind the driver might be overkill, but it’s just a little bite sized thought to keep in the back of your head if things go sideways. 

These tips work for anyone and are a glorious combination of both easy and effective. Maybe after a year’s worth of Uber driving I’ll have something to add. Even better, I’ll end it on a positive note from the Uber Safety Report, so as to distract from the depressing nature of a society in which learning these things could be helpful:

Uber fatalities happen at half the rate of the national average, so that’s good. You are half as likely to die in an Uber as in a car with your average American. Before I scare you away from ridesharing apps, keep in mind, those statistics were spread across 2.3 BILLION rides, so while we must still keep the pressure on these companies to maintain a standard of accountability and transparency, we can also exhale a little knowing that in most cases, ridesharing can get us safely to where we want to go.

If you feel comfortable, please share some of your safety related Uber or Lyft stories in the comments, or any tips you’ve found helpful that other passengers or drivers could use to stay safe.

Safe travels!